On Day 1 of "time apart" I hung out with some aquantances I hadn't seen all together since last year. We ate wings and I drank chardonnay like water. We laughed and toasted to never letting the youth get sucked out of us. I needed that, even though this morning was very rough.

Otherwise, I feel like I'm just becoming more angry. It's weird not to be able to call him. I feel like I'm simply being punished and this whole thing is counterproductive. I know he reads this now, and I don't care.

This is dumb, Matt...or it is for now. I feel dumb talking to you in print but it's the only way I can right now. And I have a lot to say. We're both wrong here.

I want to just stuff my face and sleep. I dont feel like getting in the car to go to the gym so I jogged around my house. I ate cheesedip in bed during "wife swap" and am spending glorious hours on the computer, the very things Matt hates to see me do. HA HA HA. I am lazy, always have been.

I feel that when I'm in a relationship, I become crazy and irrational -- not myself. The ups and downs are starting to wear on me. I passionately want things to work out...and keep convincing myself all this butting head type stuff is adjustment. Both of us are in unfamiliar territory. I hate having to think about this. I do afterall, have a lot of other things to do and think about.

So, we'll see.