I hate this word, but "drama!!"

The dog started bleeding out of her hoo-hoo yesterday. Her belly was swollen, but I didn't feel much sympathy at the time because she had jumped on the table in the middle of the night and eaten the rest of my nestle's buncha crunch out of my purse. I locked her in the bathroom with lots of water and hoped it would go away while I cooked and served dinner to Matt. ( whole 'nother story ). After 2 games of Egyptian, a bottle of wine, and " Catch Me If You Can", Matt went home and I checked on the dog. It looked like a massacre -- blood everywhere. The dog seemed not to be in pain, but something was definitely up. I wanted to wait til the morning but she wouldn't stop. I got panicked and took her to the emergency vet, and instinctively called David. I hate that he's the first person I call in a crisis....but at one time he was almost my family. So he was nice enough to go along and I am grateful for that. ( For the record, I still am mad/stand firm on other resolutions, but it was nice to have another person to consult in this situation ). Colleen was awful at the vet. I struggled to get the mini-muzzle on her snout so she wouldn't bite the vet while blood ran down my side and trickled to the floor. I think David was more freaked out than I was because he kept saying " its ok! its ok!". I was starting to feel sorry for the dog again, even though she had bitten me, David, Matt, Fred, and every other friend who's tried to be nice to her. 123 dollars later the vet said she had a urinary tract infection and needed an xray to see if she has bladder/kidney stones. I gave her antibiotics and made her sleep in the pet carrier....which she didn't sleep, she whined all damn night. This must be what it's like to have a baby. I do feel sorry for my sick puppy, but I am exhausted today....and pissed that this incident pretty much drained my bank account for the next week. I've had a kidney stone before and it is the worst pain you can possibly imagine, save childbirth. But I could tell my parents/the doctor what I needed. My dog is just going to whine and be annoying, but I can't bring myself to see her suffer too long. So.........I don't know what's next.

Dinner. On a whim yesterday I whipped up some good ol Mexican Caserole from this church cook book and eagle brand 7 layer cookies. Both were amazingly good and easy to make. Matt said no girl had ever cooked for him before, and was really excited. I planned to have other people over, but everyone else bailed at the last minute. So to you: haha! you missed a great meal! Be jealous!! The next meal-of-food I'm going to make will be stuffed pork chops, baked artichoke hearts, and potatoes au gratin. I figured out if you stick to a recipe, anyone can be a good cook.

Saturday night I saw Crash. AMAZING movie. I cried so many times in it, and the end didn't really give me a glimmer of hope for the world. I kind of agree with Fred, " but the same shit's going to keep happening because there's no real force aiming to stop it. " ( If you want to see what the "It" is, see the movie. ) All those people, while it wasn't right to act in the way they did...had valid reasons. I would talk more about it, but I want you guys to go see it for yourselves.

This is the week I find a job, or at least REALLY look at one. I am enjoying my summer to the fullest but I'm really slacking on the job thing. I think I just may substitute next year while I get certified, if they'll let me. I don't need a lot of money. I like the idea of choosing what days to work, too. We'll see. I'm trying not to be apathetic about it.