Hi, I'm back after 1.5 years of not posting. I've been posting a lot, actually, on my 2 xanga sites, 'mllerouges', and 'stendhal'....but decided I didn't like the direction the two were going. I hate xanga....all those links, all that gossip. In actuality, since oh, 2001... I probably have about 6 journals burried somewhere on the world wide web. Over the weekend I went about seeing if they were still up...and sure enough they are. I really should just print them up and try to delete the old ones. Next year when I'm a teacher, that could be pretty detrimental if kiddos found them and linked them to me...

I also felt like it was important to start a new blog because I feel like I'm starting a new life. I'm graduating in 3 weeks. I'm newly single....I just got out of a 2 and a half year relationship. And most of all....I just feel different. I've stopped obsessing and ruminating and started just...doing. For the record I still feel so, so, so insecure...but at least I've stripped down all the external dissonance and at least feel like I'm going in a positive direction.

Plans for after the big G: kickin it in Denton. I got attached to this damned place. And after all, it's not good to just *WHAM* try to be a grown-up, cold turkey. Mayumi and I are going to live together and I'm going to get certified to teach French this summer. I couldn't be more excited. In the fall I'll be teaching middle school or highschool, and I'm going to take the GRE, and gonna apply to grad school. And kick ass.

I spent time with my dad, sister, and grandparents this weekend - which I needed more than I thought. My grandpa & grandma live out in the country, near Waco. ( When the Branch Davidian thing happened, they could see the smoke from their kitchen window ). They have guinea hens that whardle ( is that a word? because that's the noise they make ) all night. My grandma puts doilies on everything and has all that kitschy craft stuff EVERYWHERE. Even the toilet paper roll holder is decorated. We took the hour and a half drive to Austin to see my sister, and my dad said " Man, you kids should have been here in the 70's when all the hippies and potheads were here." I looked out the window and saw some kids cross Guadalupe in " Assylem Street Spankers" t-shirt and thrift store flowered skirts, and knew in my heart the vibe wasn't really all that different. FYI, I love Austin and all its glory, and will most likely be moving out there for grad school once my internship year AKA "weening" is up.

My dad's side of the family is so different than my mom's. For example at the breakfast table ( Well, there's difference number one--my mom's side does not eat breakfast ), my grandpa brought up the subject of the neighbor's new fencing, and that was a suitable topic of conversation for a good 20 minutes. Ah.

In the spirit of my old book reviews I used to put up here, I will give mini reviews of 3 books I've read in the past 4 months.

DIARY - Chuck Palahniuk: This wasn't as good as I thought it would be. It kind of confused me, but maybe because I read it too fast. It's about a woman, whose husband is in a coma, and strange occurances on this island where they all live. People's vacation homes are turning up with entire rooms walled-up. When the wall is torn down, there is usually spray-painted threats from floor to ceiling. I love Palahniuk because so much research goes into what he writes. ( He talks about "stendhal's syndrome" which is a real thing. It means becoming physically overwhelmed by works of art ) However, I think 'Choke' or 'Lullabye' easily passes this book up in greatness.

ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY - David Sedaris: Very entertaining. I love Sedaris because he finds humor in everything - even his own demise and laziness. He lived in France and so everything about trying to learn French is really funny...because it's true. No one tells you how ridiculous you must sound. The little vignettes he writes are very insightful, but it does seem strange what he decides to not talk about....( his mom's death, dealing with drug abuse, being gay). Good book nonetheless!

LIES MY TEACHER TOLD ME :EVERYTHING YOUR AMERICAN HISTORY TEXTBOOK GOT WRONG - James Loewen: I couldn't get all the way through this book cover-to-cover because I'm not really into history...but what I did read was fascinating. Loewen read about 5 textbooks used in highschool and college, and researched and gave the whole story on about 10 "myths" common to all the books. He wasn't condemning this books....because they weren't outright lies....the books just chose what to put in and what to omit. Interestingly enough, he and colleagues wrote their own "unbiassed" text, which no schools chose to adopt. Way to go America! My favorite chapter in it was about Helen Keller...everyone knows she was deaf and blind....learned how to speak using special sign language...but did you know she was a radical advocate for Communism? Her adult life is rarely talked about. Inconsequential to the "American Story", really, but interesting nonetheless.

Alright, I have to go write up an oral presentation for my French Cinema Class for " SwimmingPool". It's good to be writing about....nothing in particular again. :) I will be back soon.