So it seems I may have high blood pressure now. The nurse last week said " good lord honey, you have the BP of a 300 lb man who just ran around the room. Let's try this again."

It usually reads pretty high because like Amélie, I get anxious around doctors and examine-y type people. I have sphygmomanometer phobia. ( Thank you IB physiology and anatomy. FYI that's the blood pressure cuff thingy ). What happens is, when I feel the cuff tighten around my arm in my head I say "shhh, it doesn't hurt it doesn't hurt...you're calm...1...2...3" and the other part of my brain says " oh man! concentrate! we're being pressured to look like we're not under pressure! AAAAAH!" So, I don't know what an accurate read out of my real BP is. The nurse always assumes it's fine because I'm not obese...don't smoke, etc etc.

But, today in traffic I thought " you know, maybe I actually do for-real have high BP and am in danger of my heart exploding."

I had just screamed "F*** YOUUU!!!" and given the Texan two-handed salute to a semi-truck crossing 3 lanes with no blinker at about 25 mph. I must've looked funny; today I wore a pink sweater and pearls. This would be like...Donna Reed giving someone the middle finger.

The mood swings have made me throw markers, yell at my class til I'm red in the face, and hang up on my parents.

I've never really given it much thought...and now everything just kind of makes sense, and I'm frankly embarrassed.

But I'm trying to just calm down. It's getting better every day...I did get road rage but when a fight broke out at lunch, instead of panicking and running to tell an administrator, and then ruminate in my head " what is this world coming to when 14 year olds are duking it out in the cafeteria?!?" I stood there, watched as seemingly in slow motion the kids flock like ants to the fighters ( I've never understood riot behavior ). I just shrugged and thought "well, if it were going to happen, better here than the street...with guns."

Not that I'm condoning apathy. Just pick your battles.

Ahh, and now it's the weekend. I feel so much better. Mikey, today I went to a gas station that had Sanitas by Cintas bathroom accessories. I thought of you.

Maybe that will help reinforce your decision to switch companies ;)