I wasn't prepared at all to go back to work yesterday. New Year's was great; pictures can be seen here .

People not from Dallas won't really understand I guess, but driving on I-35 is quite possibly the most scary thing that will ever happen to you. Picture waking up at 5-5:30 AM and leaving the house at 6. You'd think, " well who the hell else would be on the road at 6 AM?" Probably 75% of morning wrecks occure before 6:15 AM. There's something magic about time...where the number of motorists jumps from about let's say 2,000 to about 200 bajillion in a matter of minutes. I know if I make it past the 635 junction between 6:15-6:30, I'll be on time to work. Anytime after that, it's dicey. Keep in mind that this is my commute:

This is what it really looks like:




I'm tired of having to say a lengthy prayer every time I get into my car. ( But it's worked so far. ) Today at 6:22 AM I just narrowly escaped a 3 car pile-up. The person in front of me rammed into the person in front of them and I swerved into the HOV lane where someone probably had to do the Mexican Hat Dance on their brakes to avoid hitting me. Ever day to & from work, my heart leaps into my throat as I try maneuvring around:

* people who drift in and out of lanes without using blinkers

* oversized trucks that take up 2 lanes just because they can

* exit & on-ramps with no "runways" ( strips of road to merge into traffic)

* assholes who drive in my blind spot, then cut me off, THEN slow the fuck down

The drive just makes my job all that more unenjoyable. I've already been written up for being late, so I live in fear of my principal catching me again.

Oh, speaking of which, I failed my French Content teacher test by 2 points. This was the one I studied really hard for. It feels like all signs are pointing to "DO-OVER" as far as the direction of my life/career. I eel dumb and under-qualified...like what was I thinking becoming a teacher? French was only my minor. Do I even like teaching? The last 2 days have gone really smoothly I must admit, but I feel like I'm cheating those kids because I failed my fuckin teacher's test. Yes, the questions were culturally biassed and the grammar was all trick question, but a 68? That means I got about 45/113 questions wrong. Pathetic. I won't lose my job - yet - but I'll have to take that who'e over again, 75 dollars later. In the end, my Texas teacher's certificate will have cost me 3400 bucks. I don't want to quit now since I've invested so much. but I'm begining to think it's a bum deal.

So. All I can do is stick it out. I will decide my next move in May, til then I get to finally go hang out in France this Spring Break :). I am convincing penny pinching Matt that this splurge is worthwile, and am secretly planning on buying his ticket. Or half, depending on prices. When he saw me crying into the couch pillows over my test, he made me get up and get dressed. He took me to my favorite bar where he made the bartender put on an elaborate show of making flaming dr. peppers. Getting drunk and winning at pool made me feel a little better.

Sorry this has all been such a whine...January and February have never been good for me...