Early Valentines' was wonderful. We ate fondue until we thought we would die, and he gave me a fabulous turquoise necklace. I'm a lucky, lucky girl. :)

Matt's birthday is Valentines', so we've been celebrating that as well. The boy is milking it. ( But I know I did, too, my birthday week. Birthdays are too special for just one day. ) He'll be 26, and a lot of interesting conversations have come up with that. To me, the age of 26 exudes a certain maturity to it. 300 years ago, it would mean you were about half way to your death. Now, it is still socially acceptable to be bebopping around aimlessly racking up mounds of debt in college. Not the life I would have chosen, but acceptable nonetheless. I wonder what it will be like when I go back. Matt still lives a pretty carefree life. My parents, his parents -- they were all, well, parents at that age. This whole conversation is touchy because me, being out of college for a year with only shady plans of going back in the spring to start my masters...I've been exposed to the 9-5 world of "being an adult". I say things like " but are you SURE you want to live with your pot-smoking lazy sloth of a roommate who has never paid a bill on time in his life? Don't you think you're too OLD for that? Aren't you TIRED of living in the concrete ghetto next to school? " He takes all that as me saying that I'm ridiculing all that. I know in the long run living in less expensive student-oriented housing will be better for him so he can live comfortably while he gets his masters, but, geeeez. Is this what I have to look forward to when I'm 26? Waah waah waah. You know me, Princess Sarah just wants it all.

I wonder where I get these pressures...you know...to meet my husband get married buy a house with a white picket fence with my 2.5 kids and perfect job. I KNOW the statistics. I have had first hand experience in seeing that the American Dream is a myth! I love my freedom some days. I love that I don't have the responsibility of a mortgage, or being able to walk around not having baby food stains on my shirt. Most married people I know who are my age made so many compromises, they are shadows of who they were when they were single. So, why why why do I want this in my near future? As much as I'm crazy about Matt, I know that marriage or even just moving in together would be relationship suicide. Is this society telling me? Cause, most people I know are single. Is there really a biological mechanism in women telling them they most procreate? If so, then why are there single, successful young women who are absolutely content with their station in life? Argh. This is why I need to go back into psychology. I want the answers to everything so I can stop worrying for once.

I went to a college party last night and it was gloriously hedonistic in that keg-stand-strip-poker-booty-dancing-in-the-living-room sort of way. It was great but I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK TOMORROW.