Monday stress is eating away at my heart. Everytime my chest tightens I feel years of my life coming off. For every 1 cool thing about being a grown up, there are 10 shitty things.

Of the many stressful things I'm currently dealing with -- tomorrow, I have a conference with a mom whose son has done nothing in my class but be a holy terror. I have to use my mad psyc skillz to keep her calm and not defensive. You couldn't blame her if she did, what parent would want to hear that their baby has mush for brains? I'd better get used to this, if I really am going to be a diagnostician.

Scheit. I'm going to go get a glass of wine and clam down before I write what I set out to write.

Ahh, girlscout cookies with a shot of the fine dessert wine, baccardi silver. Ok, I had a great conversation with Matt stuck in traffic about families and parenting. ( Must be doing something right if he can open up about parenting philosophy :) ) I recently found out one of my exes is going to be a dad and maybe a husband. I don't know what to think...being a parent is a privelage. I know that while the odds of getting pregnant seem like they would be so low ( hello! Egg only sticks around for like a day or two! ), Biology is a motherfucker and she doesn't care if you feel like you still have a good 3 years left of partying on you before settling down. I hope the best for anyone in this
situation. Anyway, I asked Matt what his parents were like as young people, and how they met. They met at a party in Lima, Peru. His mom was 17 and his dad was in his 20's. All he knows is they hit it off and within months they were married and his older sister was on the way. 30 years later through living in different countries, learning different languages and raising 4 children, they're together. They salsa dance and drink wine and play with their grandchildren and for me as an outsider, they look pretty happy.

My parents met in 1978 I presume, at good ol' A&M. My 21 year old dad had porkchop sideburns and my 18 year old mom was tall thin and blonde. ( Alas, I did not get my mom's long legs. ) Mom was engaged at 19 and married at 20, a mom by 22. Now this blows my mind. I've covertly asked my aunt, my mom's twin whom I know I can trust, if I was unexpected. She swears that all my mom ever wanted, was to be a mom. When we moved out of our house when I was 14, I found poetry she wrote while she was pregnant with me. It was really nice to know that I was wanted...that my crazy self was someone's life's work. One thing about growing up is you start to see your parents as people and not as parents. I would love to just go back in time and see what they were like before they were married. Like what were they thinking? How close did they used to be? They've been divorced so long I don't really have any memories of them being happy and in love.

But I'm glad things turned out the way they did, I'm here :). I'd like to think I am a perfect hybrid of my mom and dad, and so is my beautiful sister, but in different ways.

Maybe one day 20 years from now, my daughter will be blogging ( on mars ) about how her mom is a nut. I can't imagine.

So here's to parents ( and i mean those who take their biological task seriously ) past and future, those who are ready and those who aren't quite yet. Good luck.