Stress and chaos. My room is a mess; I've got about 7 piles of laundry going on and I don't know what's what. My roommate found a baby snake in our bathroom and is holding it captive in MY cup. This house is getting so gross. Aparently I'm getting fat and need to find out why. Well duh, I know why...junk food, soda, beer, and being in a constant state of being too exhausted to REALLY work out. Not just my crunches and leg-lifts in front of the TV.

I'm taking a break from typing up my SECOND educational portfolio. I'm on "give 3 examples where you made accomodations for a student with learning disabilities." Le sigh. I watched "memoirs of a geisha" when I got home from work. It was very beautiful and informative. Geishas are not necessarily whores. Geisha means 'artist' in Japanese. I think I want to be a geisha for Halloween, if I can pull that off. I'm excited about my new video store rental card. Payless on University has every movie I've wanted to see in the past year. And, it's cheap.

Trying to start a "diet", or restrictions on old eating habits is hard when you're busy trying to get other stuff done. I really want a green apple slushie from sonic. When I lived at home in Sachse/Garland, the only thing close was a sonic. When I was bored or needed to get away from my family, I would drive to sonic and get a slushie and sit in in my car and listen to music. Boring, yes. Maybe this says something though. I'm trying to do the 'Oprah' thing and identify why I crave the things I crave. The nutritional side AND the emotional side. I drink excess amounts of wine by myself when I'm going through Matt withdrawals, for example. I want a snickers bar in my hand right when I walk out the door at the grocery store. Ugh. Why can't I crave celery and ice cubes??

I'm not giving in though. I drank a huge glass of water instead of the slushie. I went from feeling kind of sad, to feeling angry now. Fuck. Kind of like " why did I have to get every lousy genetic abnormality my family produced??" Thank you, fat gene.

I apologize, this entry sucks.

ps - i am totally lost over "lost"...i've missed the last 2 episodes, the last one i saw was when the korean chick got pregnant. what the HELL is going on??