" I said what you wanted to hear and what I wanted to say, so I will take it back. "
We talked for 2 hours and it went OK. I told him it was best that he enjoy his honeymoon period with his new girl....that he shouldn't try to contact me and I would do the same. I'll get used to it in time just like he had to. Vacations from reality all around!

In other news, I am a verbal badass. I just took the 'Boston Naming Test' for extra credit in my psyc classes. The researcher told me, " I'm not supposed to tell you this, but youre the first person out of 35 people to get all these words right!" ( This naming test is where you see pictures...dog...tree...house, etc. and they get harder as you go along. Yoke...compas...muzzle...trellis was the word that made me think for a minute. ) I say this a lot, but I really wish I could excel in things that actually matter. Like Napolean Dynamite would say " you've gotta have skills...ninja skills...computer hacking skills...."

I also saw a great movie today in French Cinema. ( I know, I've been talking a lot about movies lately. Mainly because I love sitting down and letting my brain become engrossed for 2 hours where I don't have to think about my life. ) We watched Auberge Espagnole . It reminded me of a dream I had where I was just walking around in the streets somewhere in Europe, submerged in people and languages and being extremely happy. Ce film m'a plu. I recommend it.

The weather is amazing right now. Yesterday I was lying on Fred's couch listening to
this song and I lazily picked up a pack of clove cigarettes from his coffee table. Since I had never smoked a clove cigarette, and they smelled good, I went on the balcony to try it out. Across the parking lot from his balcony is a 6-story retirement home next to the hospital. I got an incredible buzz from this cigarette since I never smoke. I looked at the sky and listened to the words to the song that was coming out of the speakers...mixed with the explosions from Fred's counterstrike game. I felt Bohemian, I guess....I felt like I am in the prime of my life and congratulated myself for being so free. Then directly across the parking lot, an old woman got out on her balcony to look at the sky, just as I was doing. Her frailty reminded me of my grandmother, who is dying of emphasema. Who, lights her cigarette with the pilot light on the stove because My grandpa threw away all the matches and lighters. I looked down at the filter of the cigarette and saw the yellow stain of the tobacco and tar. I snubbed it out, letting my inner goodie-goodie win. Still, it was a beautiful day outside.