I got my new classroom today. I walked up and my name and college were already on the door plaque; all in big black letters, making it real and official.

I sat in the middle of the room and thought of ideas for decorations, stations; how I wanted it to look. It took me back to the days when my mom let me help decorate her class when she taught preschool.

I can't believe I'm here. 6 months ago I could barely get out of bed. Turning in my own French homework was such a hastle....and now here I am, charged with the task of convincing 14-year-olds that it is absolutely crucial that work must be complete and turned in on time. Oh Lord.

As for everything else, well, this excerpt from a post 2 and a half years ago came to mind. It's amazing how some things stay the same even if you and the world are changing:

"by the time youre 20....you learn to guard your heart like the last twinkie in the box. You see the warning signs, you take action before anything bad even really happens to ensure your general state of indifference/content.....whatever emotional state youre accustimed to....but then all the sudden in a random marimba solo in a quiet dim concert hall you realize you're crying. and you hate yourself for it*."04-06-03

* That alludes to this really cool concert I went to with friends where we saw this little Japanese lady play the marimba (xylophones). It was so strikingly beautiful, and I was so wound up tight about everything going on, I just lost it. I think that was also the night of Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" and the mascara-ed apartment papers, Trevor ;)