here is my name spelled with naked people.


(c) http://www.atento.ru/pornoname/

alright. giggity giggity.

Ok, I just gotta vent some more. I AM TIRED OF THESE GHETTO-ASS KIDS. That's what I say on the surface. The kinder, more nurturing person inside says " but it's not ALL their fault they're so ignorant and violent. What have you done, Sarah, to try to change their thinking?"

And then surface-sarah says " BUT I DON'T CARE. CAN I HIT JUST ONE OF THEM?" I'm so sick of French I, already. I'm so tired of " oui, j'aime danser. non, je n'aime pas l'école." I'm forgetting anything higher level because this is where I'm stuck; in Freshman land. I want to quit. If it wouldn't go on my record forever and ever I would be so tempted. I can't take them on field trips because they're too bad. I've tried to hold class discussions or read short poems and it's new territory for them since they've never been taught to have an original thought.

But then why, do I spend my free time racking my brain trying to devise a way where I can pull each problem student aside and have a short "come to jesus" conference? Why did I cry when I watched "Baraka Boys" on PBS or that Dateline NBC about that 21 yr old teacher in Atlanta, breaking up fights and crying into her video diary at 3 AM grading papers? This is such an emotional profession. The truth is, if I really didn't care, I wouldn't be here. I would quit tomorrow and work in Human Resources at my dad's business or something like that. You get attached to these little people and see how so much of public education is a tragedy. You want so desperately to do or say something to flip the switch in their minds, to tell them that they really can break that nasty little sociology text book cycle of loserness.

Teaching 9th grade is making me sick, fat, and lazy. I don't feel attractive. I don't want to look like a teacher. I feel like I'm losing my interest for French in general. It's like, teaching it in this district is like aversion therapy. French=bad. I'm just ready for something new I guess.

Still, I'm glad I did this, so I can say I was in the trenches for 2 years.
~~~~~~

Picking up the lap top tomorrow
6 days until I'm 24
They're tearing down Mr. Chopsticks in Denton :( and I wrote "matt and sarah forever" in sharpie on the wall
We're moving in together in November, somehow I can't get around to telling my parents. I don't think it should be a big deal to them...
GRE's in 2 weeks, everyone says not to worry
I really like "welcome to the black parade" by My Chemical Romance, even though this band is way overrated.


Yay.