So I made porkchops and "sinful pudding" for my dad for father's day. He and my grandparents live out on some land out in the middle of nowhere, kind of near the old Branch Davidian Complex if you know where that is.

My dad built his own house about an acre away from my grandparents'. I always thought it was weird to build your own house but I guess it's turning out OK for him. Anyway, I cooked, and it seemed to go over well. My grandma was over my shoulder the whole time afraid I might blow something up I guess. I was annoyed at first, but I guess she was just trying to participate in the time-honored tradition of women teaching other women to cook. My aunt and uncle and cousins were there for awhile. My aunt's a German teacher so she gave me some new job leads. That was cool. My youngest cousin, Kaitlin, sat there quietly while we talked. I finally asked her if she was still in soccer. She opened her mouth to speak and my aunt spoke for her. She said " We have her in softball too. And we're making sure she goes to camp to swim plenty too". Kaitlin is a cute, redheaded rolly-poly little girl in her awkward stage...about 10 I guess. She went in the kitchen and my grandma whispered " for the life of me, I can't figure out why she is so overweight!" My Aunt nodded, " Katie, get out of the pie!".

I felt really bad for this girl because I went through the same shit with my critical family too at that age. It's all genetic; my grandma herself has been in weightwatchers since the 70's. We are Texan. We are sustained on steak, potato salad, and fried everything. I still get criticism, even though I know I'm not fat...college is the first time in my life where I weighed more than 120. My grandma spoiled my cooking triumph by saying " you know, you really need to start watching what you eat" while she eyed my caboose.

And it's not just that. I guess that's my grandma and my father's job...to be critical of everything they can't directly control. God love them.

Maybe I'm making a big deal out of the way my grandma treated my cousin because I'm reading REVIVING OPHELIA. I don't know what to think of this book yet. It's good, makes sense for the most part. It's about adolescent girls and their problems. The book mourns that with the onset of puberty, girls lose their dynamic, androgynous selves. Basically ones' uterus throws her life out of whack until she's 50 and only then does she get her spunk back. I think that's crap. However, the case studies in the book are interesting and heart wrenching. I can relate to a lot. But I hate that Dr. Pipher doesn't say what to do to combat the problems associated with adolescence. Or mayyyybe, exploration and "screwing up" are just a natural part of adolescence. She [Mary Pipher] seems to think that teens are incapable of making any correct decisions by themselves and need the gentle push of their parents. I don't necessarily agree with that. I think a lot of kids learn by trial and error. And yeah, that doesnt mean you should be ambivalent if your daughter wants to go out and shoot up heroin so she can learn on her own that it's harmful but....I dunno. My own adolescence was weird and sheltered, so I can't overgeneralize anything. I hope I have it figured out when I have kids.