You know, I really don't do all that well with change come to think of it.


While I welcome a change and look forward to it, I have this defense mechanism of clinging to the familiar. I get all nostalgic. It was cool to just walk around the mall yesterday and think " if I wanted to, I could buy this Michael Kors purse at the end of August, without having to save up for it". Or, simply walking around knowing that I will NEVER HAVE TO WORK IN A DEPARTMENT STORE AGAIN. Now that was a great feeling. I went to a teacher's supply store to see if they had any cool borders or posters. I feel powerful and confident.

But, it hit me last night after a few of my old friends came to visit me at the bar and meet Matt ( thanks Nicole and Brandon ), that I will really, really miss college. After a few drinks I didn't only miss college...the places, the people....I missed pretty much everything and everyone I was lacking at that moment. People or events I hadn't thought of in years.

I dreamt about my freshman year dorm last night. In this bed, I could sleep through anything. At first Nicole and I were so afraid of falling out, but after a few months, I slept better here than at home. I will miss staying up on AIM until 3 am, sleeping til 8, going to class, eating lunch, and napping til dinner. Those days are long gone.

I also dreamt about the summer my dad bought us all season tickets to the Dallas Summer Musicals. I'm not a big musical theater fan ( although I would kill to see Avenue Q or Spamalot ) , but it was just nice to get dressed up, eat dinner, and be entertained for awhile on sunday nights. I think I was about 17 then...Suzi came with us once or twice. We saw " Annie Get Your Gun"which inspired me to draw up a fake playbill called "Suzi Get Your Gun" for her birthday. Yeah. We were weird.

Now that I'm going to teach high school, I've been looking back in fondness at my 4 years at Garland. And then I remember staying up til 4:30 crying trying to get my anatomy and physiology lab done. ( I never worked as hard [without being rewarded with good grades] in college as I did say, my jr. year in high school. )

I miss so many people. Nothing is the same and it's surreal. I'm sure everything is for the best....but well, you know how it is.

I'd better squeeze everybit of college-aged reckless abandon out of these last 3 or so weeks. Keep bail money on hand. ( They've already done my criminal background check, so el job don't gots to know!) Jk jk jk jk.

Bonsoir :)